Rubber Plants, Fluorescent Lights and 80's Prints: What Inspires You?
Listen, I have nothing against rubber plants, they just do not do it for me. And I think the 80’s were rad, but we’ve come further. I mean, we’ve surpassed Nextel. And fluorescent lighting makes people look horrendous. Those of us that are the color of paper do not appreciate our adult acne accentuated at every turn in the office. We can do better corporate America! I say let’s start a revolution. Let’s turn this slurry of crap into something that holds meaning for us, not just space on cream walls. I’ll go first. Here are two things that drive me to give 110 % around the office, the name I’ve given them, and the visceral feelings they evoke…
Exhibit A: PHOENIX DYING (radical 80’s print)
This thing haunts me every time I march toward the single-seater bathroom, which is uncomfortable enough, because whether I’m coming out or going in, I’m going to have an awkward moment with someone. To me, Phoenix Dying represents enflamed bowels, with stomach churning and a side of hemorrhoids. The feeling it evokes is rage mixed with embarrassment and an urge to go, badly.
EXHIBIT B: HOLY BEIGE (beautiful cubicle textile)
It’s everywhere. Inescapable beige textured with strange crosses that hold some sort of secret DaVinci Blair Witch Corporate meaning, which only Robert Langdon can decode. The Holy Beige makes me feel…well…beige, and like I’m being punished for being a bad Catholic.
Now it’s your turn. Free your soul! Share photos, descriptions, illustrations, napkin drawings- anything from around the office that creates an undeniable synergistic, possibility of a cross-collaboration that evokes the feeling a young child gets staring at a lighthouse, a mountain top, an eagle, or a sailboat crossing stormy seas. Got it? It’s open season-just don’t pick on the rubber plants. #rad
Corporate word of the day: BANDWIDTH
It’s like holiday pants; do you have the “bandwidth” to take in more or are you going to implode? People will go around and check your bandwidth. It’s highly intrusive, especially after taco bar day in the cafeteria. If you get asked, “Hey, what does your bandwidth look like?” I would file a grievance with HR and then expect no action to be taken.