Mom Tribe Unite!
My mom, Kathy, stayed home with four of us; which was enough work in itself. She coached everything and volunteered at our school. She was a substitute teacher, and at times, would be my teacher for the day. It was terrible because I had a lot of funny things planned, and when she would come barging in my whole shtick had to be put on hold.
My mom is college educated. She’s smart. She’s very sassy and she speaks her mind. She’s not a knitter, but she’s a baker and she loves to read. My love of the arts and writing come from my mother’s influence and all the movies and books she let me dive into before they were “age” appropriate, like A Chorus Line. I would practice “Tits and Ass” in my bedroom over and over again when I was ten by shoving socks in my shirt and borrowing her high heels. Or, Sophie’s Choice, the pain of that story has never left me. Then there is Of Mice and Men, which she bought for me when I was eleven. It was the first book I read straight through, it also made me cry so hard I puked and couldn’t join the family for dinner.
Why am I telling you all this stuff about my mom?
Because I want to end an argument that has been happening among women for years; Working vs. Non-working moms. Here’s a newsflash, we’re all working. We are all struggling. We all have piles of socks with unmatched partners, so who cares if you put on a suit, uniform, yoga pants, or ball gown to get your job done. Either way, you’re going to have to deal with tantrums, picking up after people, ridiculous demands, and self-centered people who think the world revolves around them. Being a mom is a tough job that tears at your soul, and I don’t know about you, but I’m still waiting for the award ceremony to start…
Instead of breaking up our tribe into two camps, let’s just be moms. MOM is the one title we all have that unites us. The one name we all share. The tribe that knows the secret handshake of handing off a maxi pad in the middle of a crowded room. The tribe that remembers the dates and buys the cards. The only tribe in the whole world that is brave enough to find out if something is poo or chocolate.
What I want for my kids is happiness. I also want them to be influenced the way my mother influenced me. I didn’t really care or think about what my mom did with her day when I was little, I just knew she loved me and loves me still. And when she suggests a movie or a book, I know it's gonna be good and somewhat inappropriate.
After all my mom work is done, I just want a little space inside their heart where they can feel how much I love them- and where I can finally settle down and take a long overdue nap.
Oh, and finally throw those socks away.