It’s a rainy Saturday and I’m staring out the window counting my blessings. There are many. Even down to looking out these windows at the leaves in the yard; I never imagined I would have a yard, or even a house, or kids, or a husband that’s so great. I dreamed it, but in my dreams, it was never as beautiful as this.
Sometimes when I pull into the house after work I get a tingly feeling. It’s happiness. I look at the blue house we bought, and a million flashes of time race into my mind. A million feelings of gratefulness and hope. I know I can’t stay in the moment forever. I know the noise and chaos I’m walking into will one day be replaced with silence, and so I take a deep breath and try to stay in that warm place as long as I can.
This is today…
Matt putting his new Beatles record on and saying he thinks they stink after the first song.
Mae explaining a drawing with an entire world she created for her two friends.
Watching Jon nervously futz around with his Wisconsin hat on before the game.
Catching them sneaking candy even though, I’m fine with it.
Folding up the pile of blankets on our bedroom floor where Mae makes a nest every night.
Running after Jake who all of sudden likes to chase after cars.
Searching for those screws, I think I threw away, that are critical for fixing the microwave.
Putting together a list of groceries because we’re down to just sauces and old vegetables.
Bringing piles of laundry up and down the stairs to prepare for going out of town next week.
The kids setting the dining room table for my brothers who are coming for dinner tonight.
Bickering over who has more room on the living room floor.
Giving Jake another bone.
The loudness and life that fills this house.
The closeness I feel right now.
I’m so thankful for this moment in our blue house.
Things happen. Time and space change life. Nothing can ever remain untouched and nothing is ours forever. I don’t want to let time spill in, because I feel that this time right now, today, is something I want to hold onto. I don’t want to move forward. I want to stay in this blue house, in this moment, forever…